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out of 5 stars This Gives Cartoon Violence a Bad Name. I used to do that when I was a kid, and I would always have a great time. The best thing about it was that I didn't have a script going into it; I just made up the sequence of events and the dialogue as I went along. After it was completed, I'd show it to my parents and friends. However, my pleasure in making horror movies didn't delude me into believing I had to share it with the general public, and I'm sure those of you who own a video camera would agree. These are the kinds of people I begrudge: the ones who feel that a cheaply made home video qualifies as a professional movie. It's absolutely incredible that this film got released; no one in his or her right mind could have expected this blatantly amateurish work to be taken seriously, and if they did, then they need some seriously expensive professional help. It's a crude, barely half-hearted attempt at entertainment, setting into motion a wrongly conceived excursion into the world of storytelling. Who really wants to see a doctor scooping bloody entrails out of a person whose eyes are spinning like the googly peepers of Cookie Monster. For that matter, who would want to watch performances or hear dialogue that wouldn't even pass muster in an elementary school play. When sisters Cindy (Beverly Lynn) and Candy (Lizzie Borden, of all names) are left home alone for the night, Cindy and her friend, Amy (Kerri Liu) decide to invite a couple of boys over for a little party. Of course, the conveniently absent parents have strictly forbidden this. But as soon as she gets a mysterious package in the mail, her attention is averted. I guess she didn't care that she was given an item she didn't send away for. Upon inserting the disc into her player, Candy immerses herself in a fast-paced, frenetic freak show of a cartoon series (despite the fact that all the characters are real, physical people). The two most prominent characters are the twisted Dr. Carnage (Matty Moo)--a mad scientist stereotype with a green colored, goblin-like face--and Max Assassin (Scott Barrows)--a monkey genetically altered into a gun-toting killing machine. Their appearances can only be compared to mass-produced Halloween masks, a quality that didn't do much to add to the film's credibility.

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Ever since 1983, when the SDP-Liberal alliance won 25% of the vote, and yet received only 23 seats in parliament, the faults in the bizarre system we use to elect our parliament have become more and more apparent. It will be vicious, it will be brutal, it will be hard. Cameron will govern without caution, without concern for electoral prospects and without hiding the ideological agenda which has driven the direction he has taken the country since 2010. What has been touted by the Tories as economic prudence and getting the country in order will be accelerated. Held at the Metropolitan Museum of Art, the event charges ticket prices from upwards of ? 00, all in aid of The Met Costume Institute that opened in the 1940’s. The event is best known, however, for the guests that frequent it. Beyonce, Kim Kardasian and singer Lady Gaga all graced the red carpet. For instance Fifty Shades of Grey star Dakota Johnson chose to accompany her Chanel Haute couture mini dress with a bag by the same designer. However, far from being a fun and exciting piece of couture, the bag featured a Chinese woman with stereotypically fine slits in place of eyes. As if Chanel, and indeed Johnson, were unaware of the thousands of Asian woman undergoing plastic surgery for the sake of achieving the western eyelid shape. It left them trembling at the prospect of revolution on their own doorstep, as the former Corset-maker from Thetford dared common folk everywhere to question exactly why we should offer the inbred parasites atop our society anything but contempt, and the wrong end of a sword. Imagine that between a grouping of progressive parties — Labour, the SNP, the Greens, Plaid Cymru, and the SDLP — there is a clear left of centre majority in parliament. Imagine that an array of reactionary and right wing parties, a smorgasbord of Eurosceptics, xenophobes, sell out liberals, and firebrand Northern Irish Unionists led by a buoyant Tory party are tipped over the mythical 326 towards cobbling together some form of government. Across this (hopefully) green and pleasant land, the great multi-headed beasts, known to our political class as hard-working families, will be herded into schools and council buildings to cast their vote. It’s going to be, without a doubt, the most anti-climactic, and longest, election of our times. May 3, 2015 by Alex Valente, in conversation with Cadi Cliff. The fault is mine, of course, as I start doubting my place within the Norwich Radical, and the role that I, as a translator of poetry, could possibly play in a radical, progressive, critical publication.


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